i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
