help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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