Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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