Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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