Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
