I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
