hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I love you. Go after that dick
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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