I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
