God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
