If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
