I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
