I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
