My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
no, he came in my armpit
he thought i was a dude.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
