The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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