The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
