it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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