Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
