Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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