Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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