I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
