we have officially mastered the walk of shame
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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