I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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