Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
