I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
