i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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