so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize