she woke up with a sticky ear
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
