Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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