I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
