We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
