3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
