Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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