Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
A+ Viking dick
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
