it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
