why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
