38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
