I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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