note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
