Can i not drive my cunt home
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
