they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
