I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
