Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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