if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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