sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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