I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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