why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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