I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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