Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
