and i looked up. we had an audience...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
