When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
