very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize