My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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